There’s a reason that Kanye is allowed to call himself Yeezus. It’s not because he’s a self-inflated, incessantly yammering dillhole. No, no that’s not it. His fans know that West is truly one of a kind, because he’s constantly telling them on Twitter. He’s loud, boastful, and never afraid to drop truth bombs all over the MTV Movie Awards. You might not think that behavior would translate well to politics (or adulthood), but you’d be wrong. Just think of Kanye as the Donald Trump of rap and his political prowess seems obvious. Still not convinced? Here are 13 reasons Kanye would be the most “awesome” president ever. The fact that he’s already declared an interest in running in 2020 should make us all tingle in anticipation.
1. He Has a Way With Words
Kanye is a creative genius. It must be true or he wouldn’t say so all the time (literally all the time). So what does a deep dive into his lyrics reveal? Presidential awesomeness, that’s what. On his perfect woman, “My psychic told me she have an ass like Serena/Trina, Jennifer Lopez.” On fake friends, “Dog, If I was you, I’d kill myself.” On himself, “I am a god.” Pure poetry.
2. He’s Totally Not a Hypocrite
Last October, Kanye experienced the same hardships several parents go through when his daughter, North, started making in-app purchases on an iPad game. This led West to take to Twitter and say, “F*** any game company that puts in-app purchases on kids games!!!” Now, you might be saying, hold on, isn’t Kanye married to a woman who just made $200 million on in-app purchases in 2015? Yes, but she didn’t put her name on a kid’s game. See? No hypocrisy!
3. He’s Willing to Solicit Investments
Just before his most recent album, The Life of Pablo, dropped, the voice of a generation declared that he needed, “access to more money in order to bring more beautiful ideas to the world.” He went on to ask Mark Zuckerberg and Google’s Larry Page for investment capital, declaring that they owed it to them because, “All you dudes in San Fran play rap music in your homes but never help the real artists.” Later he added, “[Y]ou’d rather open up one school in Africa like you really helped the country.” Because obviously helping Kanye make more music is way more valuable than establishing a school for impoverished youth. The man has his priorities straight.
I write this to you my brothers while still 53 million dollars in personal debt… Please pray we overcome… This is my true heart…
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) February 14, 2016
4. He Tells it Like it Is
Call this Kanye’s first truth bomb. During a telethon for Hurricane Katrina, Kanye was on the air with comedian Mike Myers talking about the poor inhabitants trying to get out of New Orleans. What started as a somewhat pertinent rant about the portrayal of minorities in the tense situation quickly deteriorated into thinly veiled accusations that not enough was being done to evacuate the black citizens of New Orleans. Of course, it was only at the end of the segment — in which Mike Myers clearly had about three strokes — that Kanye uttered his famous line, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” Because Kanye was wise enough to understand that the President could have evacuated those people, he simply chose not to. (Duh.)
5. He Goes Against the Grain
When you’re thinking about a presidential candidate, you need a man who will stand up for what he believes, even when logic itself is screaming the opposite. Let’s take the sad case of Bill Cosby, for example. Once a beloved member of TV history and one of the most popular celebrities on the planet, 2015 saw his status crumble as more than 50 women came forward to accuse the icon of sexual assault. Fifty women. Fifty. And yet, in February of this year, Kanye West — who’s clearly privy to some extra information — stated on Twitter in his usual subtle style: “BILL COSBY INNOCENT !!!!!!!!!!” Now, that’s brave.
6. His Wife is the Classiest
A first lady should be a woman of impeccable grace and poise. Who else best personifies those royal traits like Kim Kardashian? She’s the classiest. Okay, I know what you’re thinking … didn’t she first get famous for nailing some dude on camera? And to that I say, isn’t everyone entitled to some early mistake? Since then, the woman has devoted herself to the noble pursuit of crying and shouting on camera, while always lending her whole body to the cause of art (or is that attention?). Why, just last week she was tweeting nude selfies. That’s my kind of FLOTUS.
7. He Gives Credit Where It’s Due
Kanye West isn’t afraid to make sure that the real talents are recognized, regardless of whether or not they’ve actually been recognized. In 2009, West felt personally wronged by the results of the award for Best Video at the VMA’s. Not willing to let this extremely, cataclysmically important injustice go unnoticed, West walked on stage during Taylor Swift’s award acceptance speech, grabbed the microphone from the winner and said, “I’m sorry, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time.” It needed to be said, and definitely on stage, and definitely in such a way as it ruined Swift’s acceptance of her first big award. Because she totally had a hand in the decision.
8. He Definitely Doesn’t Like Butt Stuff
After a common miscommunication landed Kanye in an increasingly heated feud with rapper Wiz Khalifa, Yeezy took the high road and made sure to drag Khalifa’s child into the argument. Of course, at that point, the child’s mother, Amber Rose — aka, one of Kanye’s ex-girlfriends — took to Twitter to defame West’s character by declaring, “Awww @kanyewest are u mad I’m not around to play in ur asshole anymore?” Fortunately, days later Kanye took to Twitter to defend himself, saying, “Exes can be mad but just know I never let them play with my ass… I don’t do that… I stay away from that area all together.” Why would he say it if it wasn’t true?
9. He’s Gracious
Kanye is a very important man; he has places to go and people to see. He can’t be bothered with idle chit chat because he has genius-y things to think. So, it’s odd when people call him ungracious when some TMZ cameraman has the unmitigated gaul to tell West, “I’m a big fan, bro. I love your work.” Obviously, West tore into the man, saying, “I appreciate it, but don’t talk … I don’t want to hear paparazzi talk to me or anybody I know. Don’t talk to me at all, and don’t talk to anyone I know at all. And tell everybody, never talk to anyone that anyone knows. Don’t talk to themselves. Don’t talk ever again.” I can’t understand why people think that’s rude. West said he appreciated it.
10. He Strikes Ire in the Heart of Terrorists
Here’s how important Kanye is. Anonymous, the hacker collective that usually spends their time attacking domestic and foreign government agencies, actually took time out of their hateful schedule of securing free speech and uncovering information hidden in the annals of government computers to express their hate for Kanye in a seven-and-a-half minute video. We need a man who inspires this kind of anger in terrorists. And it’s clear that Anonymous hates Kanye; the man in the Guy Fawkes mask explained, “You’re like a spoiled child in a grown man’s body who is ready to set off a boiling temper tantrum the very moment you don’t get all the things you want.”
11. He Knows How to Persevere
Back when he was just a struggling rap star, Kanye West got into a terrible car accident that saw his jaw wired shut (wait, that’s not the joke, yet). It was from his hospital bed, on a diet of liquids, that the future hip-hop messiah wrote his first hit single, “Through the Wire.” It’s a real success story, even if it is mildly ironic that Kanye’s (ahem) lack of inhibitions sprung from a time when he was physically unable to speak.
12. He Knows the Value of Education
A strong education platform is extremely important for every political leader. And Kanye’s stance on education is extremely defined. While on the publicity trail for a book he wrote back in 2009, Kanye (whose mother was an English professor, just head’s up) said, “Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed,” West said. “I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book’s autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books.” Just the kind of mindset you need from a man who’d have a hand in your child’s curriculum.
13. He’s Super Creative
Kanye is mad creative. Again, he’ll tell you pretty much any chance he can get. Yet, his creativity knows no bounds. He’s not confined to just music. In the last few years, he’s branched into fashion and he’s effortlessly turned the industry on its ear. Just take a look at the revolutionary frock picture. A white T-shirt? Who would have thought? Brilliant!
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