In the long history of Hollywood — with its bombastic egos and high stakes atmosphere — feuds among the creative and business talent are bound to erupt. And while, these days, most of those feuds play out on Twitter with all the intensity of a high school slap fight, sometimes celebrities really know how to stick the knife in and twist. Here, for your consideration, are a few of the best celebrity revenge stories from the long and ruthless history of Hollywood.
1. Amber Rose Reveals Kanye West’s Big Secret
At one point, Kanye West and Amber Rose were a big time item, and it was … well, it was a thing. Then, they broke up and the rapper moved on to the brunette with hips and Rose moved on to Wiz Khalifa. Then, in the midst of a (sigh) Twitter battle with Khalifa, West made some disparaging remarks about the kid Khalifa shares with Amber Rose. This act prompted the former adult film start to tweet, “Awww @kanyewest are u mad I’m not around to play in ur a–hole anymore?” The resulting hangdog tweets from West — including his half-hearted claim that Rose was lying — are the stuff of legend.
2. The ‘Small Penis’ Trick
Here’s one from the old school that’s still being used to this day. See, what happens is that when one person irritates another person (let’s call the person doing the irritating, oh … Donald Trump), the irritated person (let’s call them John Oliver) makes a subtle insinuation that the irritating person has a really small penis. Hence, for example, the series of “small hands” jokes made about the GOP Presidential candidate on Last Week Tonight. It pretty much insures that the irritating person won’t sue, because doing so would be to admit that they do, in fact, have a small penis.
3. Lord Byron Loves Animals and You’ll Just Have to Deal With That
Lord Byron was an avid animal lover; he simply couldn’t stand to be without his furry friends, no matter where he went. In spite of an impassioned request to Trinity College at Cambridge, the institution told the future poetic icon to leave his dog at home. Byron complied with the ruling … and brought a bear to live in his dorm instead. When you need something fluffy, you need something fluffy.
4. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Own Taylor Swift
After the comedy duo made a joke about the singer at the Golden Globes (when they joked that the habitual dater needed to “stay away from Michael J. Fox’s son”), Taylor Swift was quoted saying that there was a “special place in Hell” for women who didn’t support other women. Of course, this outright diss set off a multi-week firestorm in which Fey and Poehler never once directly insulted Swift, and yet made her look like a fool at every turn. Whether it was Fey telling Poehler that there was a special place in Hell for her after the blonde had just won a Best Actress Golden Globe or Poehler herself responding, “I do agree I am going to Hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff,” Swift never stood a chance.
5. Hope 007 Has an Invincible Credit Limit
When Daniel Craig broke things off with Hollywood producer Satsuki Mitchell, he moved on rather quickly to his current wife Rachel Weisz. Of course, the timeline there is rather muddy; as in, Craig had been with Mitchell for seven years and then — essentially — one day he just didn’t show up at home because he was chasing down Weisz. So, how did the scorned woman deal with this rejection? She charged a million dollars to his credit cards. That’s a lesson Craig won’t soon forget.
6. Justin Timberlake Cries a River Over Britney Spears
In one of Justin Timberlake’s first hits, the singer dropped “Cry Me a River” about a woman who cries and cries to her former flame, only to be met with a cold wall of indifference. While Timberlake has never confirmed it, most people think this song is about his break-up with Britney Spears. IRL, she supposedly cheated on Timberlake with her choreographer. He wrote a song (and won a Grammy) for the pain. So, who’s the real winner here?
7. Left Eye Goes Firebug
When Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, member of R&B group TLC, learned that her former boyfriend, NFL player Andre Rison, cheated on her, she had a great idea. Left Eye set his shoes on fire inside one of his bathtubs. Unfortunately, the tub didn’t contain the fire and soon his entire mansion was ablaze. Serves him right, I guess …
8. Taylor Swift, Again
In spite of that whole kerfuffle with Tine Fey and Amy Poehler (in which she got totally owned), you can’t deny that the multi-Grammy Award-winning artist has absolutely perfected the art of revenge in the industry. The young woman has turned a string of high profile trysts with celebs who include John Mayer, Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, and now Tom Hiddleston into a pile of awards and a legion of fans who love her work.
9. The Cast of ‘Freaks and Geeks’ Prove Success is the Greatest Revenge
Some say that the best revenge is living well. After 12 amazing yet poorly-rated episodes, Judd Apatow’s beautiful 1980s high school show Freaks and Geeks was cancelled. One of the biggest complaints studio execs gave to Apatow as reasoning for his failure was that he picked the wrong cast. Apatow decided those claims were patently false; as a result, he stuck with his core cast members as he transitioned into films. And today, we have the careers of Jason Segel, Martin Starr, Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, James Franco, and a host of others.
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