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It’s an irrefutable fact that aliens are out there somewhere among the vast expanses of the cosmos. With all the stars scattered among the Universe, it’s impossible that there isn’t another species out there that’s managed to climb down from the trees and stake their claim on their own home world. While it might be a stretch to suggest that aliens have already landed and are currently mingling among us, it’s not entirely outside the realm of possibility. And, if we’re assuming that aliens have touched down on the planet, it only makes sense that they’d snake their way into the spotlight, maybe even to soften us up for later contact. After all, if we’re used to cheering for a representative of their species, then when their alien cohorts actually show up, it’ll be much less jarring. Could there be aliens on our TVs, movie screens or singing our songs? If so, we’ve got our eyes on a few likely candidates.

1. Stephen Colbert is Too Smart to Be a Real Human

He can quote Lord of the Rings, the Constitution, and the Bible at will, and with equal knowledge.


2. Ryan Seacrest Is What Aliens Think Normal Dudes Look Like

He’s got alien-level stamina, he’s never NOT smiling, and there’s a hollow look in his eyes that just tells you he’s actually a robotic Ken doll being operated by an adorable little alien living in his chest.

Ryan Seacrest

3. January Jones is the Counterpart to Ryan Seacrest’s Alien Tech

Come on, as much as you undeniably love Mad Men’s former leading lady, you have to realize that her performances are suspiciously glassy. But, you still love her. But you know you she’s not talented. But you love her. It’s mind control, folks.


4. Watch 15 Minutes of Any David Lynch Film and Tell Me He’s Not From Another World


5. Maybe Jim Carrey’s Face Contorts Like Rubber Because It Actually Is Rubber

Jim Carrey mask

6. Elon Musk Must Be an Alien; Name Another Rich Person Who Actually Cares That Much About the Future of the Planet


7. Fashion Designer Karl Lagerfeld is the Best-Dressed Alien in Any Galaxy


8. It’s Not Scientology Keeping the Manic Gleam in Tom Cruise’s Eyes


9. The Only Way to Comprehend James Franco’s Career is That He’s Bound By an Extra-Terrestrial Alien Code


10. They Literally Don’t Make Foreheads Like Ron Perlman’s on this Planet


11. Benedict Cumberbatch Must Be an Alien, Because No Regular Guy Could Look Like a Grown Up Paul Dano and Still Get Called Hot

Benedict Cumberbatch

12. Nicholas Cage Is Looking a Little Worse for Wear These Days

He may not have always looked like an alien, but if you told me the real Nic Cage was abducted and replaced with a shoddily done look-alike, I wouldn’t be surprised.


13. Heidi Klum is From a Planet With the World’s Prettiest Aliens …


14. … And So Is Halle Berry

The only way you’ll convince me she’s 50 is to tell me her species lives to be 200.


15. Tilda Swinton is an Otherworldly Talent

Okay, so this one is obvious, because Swinton’s distinct facial features are immediately striking and unmistakable. Does she look like she’s from another world? Yeah, a world filled entirely with insanely talented theater students.


17. Victoria’s Secret Model Karolina Kurkova Doesn’t Have a Bellybutton

Operation as a kid … sure.


18. No One With Donatella Versace’s Checkbook Would Willingly Get Plastic Surgery That Bad


19. Steve Buscemi is From a World Where Dry Eyes Can Get you Killed And Virility is Measured in the Size of Your Canines


20. Donald Trump Must Be Using Some Kind of Alien Tech to Hyptonize Idiots

How else do you explain his long-term popularity?


21. Christopher Walken Dances Too Much to Be a Real Old Man

He also requests his scripts delivered to him without punctuation. Acting method, my foot.


22. It’s a Toss Up As to Whether Willem Dafoe is an Alien or a Vampire

I’d easily believe both.


23. No Human Could Do as Much Heroin and Drink as Much Liquor as Keith Richards and Still Be Alive


24. David Bowie Isn’t Dead, He Just Went Home


25. Tyra Bank’s Patented ‘Smize’ Screams “Take Me to your Leader”

Tyra Banks

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