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Model Cara Delevingne is currently enjoying the success of her film Suicide Squad, but she is admitting that she struggled a lot with depression over the years. She recently explained that her depression started around the age of 8, due to the fact that her mom Pandora was struggling with some heroin addiction.

“I think I properly started dealing with depression when I was about 16, when all the stuff with my family started to make sense and came to the surface. I’m very good at repressing emotion and seeming fine. As a kid I felt like I had to be good and I had to be strong because my mum wasn’t. So, when it got to being a teenager and all the hormones and the pressure and wanting to do well at school — for my parents, not for me — I had a mental breakdown.”

She went on to explain how her suicidal feelings developed.

“I was suicidal. I couldn’t deal with it any more. I realized how lucky and privileged I was, but all I wanted to do was die. I felt so guilty because of that and hated myself because of that, and then it’s a cycle. I didn’t want to exist anymore. I wanted for each molecule of my body to disintegrate. I wanted to die.”

Luckily she made it past that phase is happy focusing on her acting career.

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